


A Sick Love (but of the sweetest kind)

by miss_stark



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bloody, Dark, Death, I'm Not Ashamed, I'm not sure where all this came from, Killing, Kinks, M/M, Murder-Suicide, POV Steve Rogers, POV Tony Stark, Paraphilias, Psycho!Steve, Really let me know, S&M, Steve is a psychopath, Suicidal Thoughts, Twisted love, god i hope i dont fuck up to bad, i probably have a lot of shit wrong, ill probably add more tags, its really not going to be nice, just anything bad and fucked up that crosses my mind basically, mental problems, more tags will be added, mureder, no im not really sorry, possessive, psycho!Tony, read the tags, read under your own risk, sexual arousal by violence, tell me if you think there's a tag i should add and i missed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-04
Updated: 2015-08-12
Packaged: 2018-03-04 16:06:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3073937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miss_stark/pseuds/miss_stark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Okay I'm going to do my absolute best to try and explain its not that hard. i think<br/>Steve is a psychopath and Tony is a sociopath they fall in love (yeah i know not really how there mind works but my world) and they fall in to the rabbit whole devolving in to there darkest diereses that they both neglected most of there lives trying to fake normality. Their minds unravel as they fall deeper and deeper in to the darkness madness consuming them.  </p><p>It's meant to be dark and gritty and quite honestly over romanticizing horrible things. </p><p>Now i'm the furthest thing from an expert on psychology and these mental illnesses Wikipedia and online medical articles are my guide and bad horror movies and things like that so if you know about this stuff; so if you have any info that you think i should be aware of i'm all eyes and ears.</p><p> also if there are any tags you think i should add let me know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> honestly read the tags i'm sure that there are going to be a lot of things that are triggers for people and i don't want to trigger anything to a lovely person so please read the tags 
> 
> again feed back is welcome; about anything and everything and really if you think that i'm missing a tag that should be there LET ME KNOW; i would really appreciate it.
> 
> Also, it has no beta so sorry for any mistakes you find. if anyone's interested in beta reading let me know.

My name is Steve Rogers and I am currently sitting in a grimy bathtub in a two bit flee bag motel bleeding out from a wound to the stomach. You’d think if be miserable, unhappy, angry, anxious, desperate to find a way to stop the life draining out of me down the rust covered drain; fighting for my life. But I’m not, I’m exactly where I want to be, where I’m meant to be.

Dying with the love of my life on my lap life dripping out of him, his tender wrists gushing and spilling his sweet blood down my chest finding my blood mixing with it, trickling down together blended in thick, hot, sticky mess staining the yellowed porcelain encasing us.

Tony, my sweet perfect Tony he didn’t even hesitate to slash his wrists open when I tumbled into the room bleeding and pail. He even let me watch as his steady hands guided the thin blade slowly down so the delict skin on his wrists and forearms slashing that olive skin open and that his life started to pour out of him in steady rivers of deep red.

God my only regret right now is not being able to make love to him one last time before the life leaves our bodies, listen to his sweet moans and groans while I fucked him senseless calling my name and begging for more; numb the pain with my kisses feeling his body shake undermine. But it’s ok, fine because I have him hear absently drawing shapes on my chest with his finger like he does in the haze after we make love, but this time, his finger slides warm with blood and I get to watch his sweet brown eyes lose that spark of life and go dull with death. It’s only right since the fire of their life in them lite my madness and consumed us both, and now I get to watch it burn out.

Just like we were meant to die, together bloody in each other’s arms; the unspoken pact we made when we fell into the madness of our wants and needs.

So. Perfect.

But there is no point in knowing the end of a sick love story without the sweet details that led us to hear. So let me tell you

\---**---**---**---

I’d set myself up in a trapped life, I lied to myself for years. Lied to everyone my whole life letting them think I was a mild-mannered boy with a kind heart and sweet smile. It wasn’t hard to fool the world. People see what they want to see; that’s how they work everyone loves being lied to. And I was the best at it.

I lied to everyone around me. I lied to my family, my friend's people who saw me on the street wouldn’t think twice about trusting me.

I knew I wasn’t like the other kids. While they gushed about small animals and treasured them with love and care I just wanted to break them and hurt them, open them, rip them apart from their fuzzy paws.

And never acted on it, pushed the thoughts deep in me every time my mother encouraged me to pet a cat or some random dog on the street, the poor sweet dull creature my mother was thought I was afraid of animals and since I was small and gangly it wasn’t hard to pull that off that it was fear that kept me away from them and not the Absolut repulsion that I felt for them.

I’m not saying that I had it all put together no; I was caught hurting small animals like cats and dogs, on one memorable occasion I caught a squirrel the pitiful thing didn’t stand a chance.

But I knew it wasn’t right I could feel it in every one of my bones how wrong and depraved my needs were even as a child and the word depraved wasn’t in my vocabulary at that age.

So I stayed away from other children, shunned myself in self-hate and hate for other.

Then in middle school, I found a way to vent my frustrations. On my way home I walked passed an alley where two guys were picking on a smaller kid, I’d seen him around school he was small like me and not totally unlikeable, so I stepped in and stepped up for that kid and took the beating of my life.

I got fucked up good in that trash clustered, urine soaked alley but that’s how I learned how to let go of all the pent up frustration that I couldn’t explain.

So I took up boxing and learned how to fight and I fought guys bigger than me, stronger than me and got off on the pain I made them feel fiscal and to their ego, got off on the pain I felt on my hands after beating on some idiot at school that disrespected a girl or hurt some kid that couldn’t defend himself. And I have praised for it the defender of the weak.

It eased my teen years and I was able to establish some normality in my life ease the lies I had to tell myself every morning I looked at myself in the mirror. Smile at myself, smiles at other be the good boy that hated bullies, everyone, though I was. The sensitive artist that preferred to draw and read.

I even started dating when I was in my senior year of high school. She was perfect, I was sure that having her on my arm would make the lies really make the mask feel like my actual skin.

And so I started dating Peggy, she was stunning to look at; she was a small girl not stick thin and I could picture running my hands along her lovely curves enjoying the feeling of her silky milked colored skin with those red lips and thick soft brown hair that framed her face just right. Even remembering her now I know why I felt that she was the one that would pull me away from my perverse wants and needs.

Strong and sweet she was the perfect woman and she fell for me with no trouble. I followed all the dating rules, I courted her or whatever you want to call it, charmed my way into her life with a smile and soft looks of pathetic doe eyes that I'd see other boys give the girls they were interested in. it wasn’t hard, she fell for me quickly and we started dating.

After months and months, she began to question my interest in her because I didn’t try to get into her pants. And reject her when she would try to move things further along. I couldn’t let myself fall into it I felt like I would break her if I ever took it to that point that I would chock the life out of her just to get off and didn’t want to; wrong I was dying to but I couldn’t let myself fall into that.

But she wanted to leave me to find someone that would satisfy her more than just sweet words and give her tokens of love so one night I let her take what she wanted, on her plush couch she straddled me and started to fuck herself with me and god, I almost lost it that rush to hurt her that I suppressed every day rushed to me and I think she noticed; when I flipped her over onto the couch and started fucking into her hard hand gripping her neck tight smothering her face in it the couch.

Ran out of there before I actually hurt her, I ran and ran and ran and ran and I remember that for the first time in I don’t know maybe my whole life I actually cried from frustration, I wanted to end everything my mind was a hell hole begging for blood, pain and watching the life leave her eyes, anyone’s eyes I wanted it all to end. But I didn’t have it in me to end myself maybe Peggy would accuse me of rape and I’d go to jail and I could pick a fight with someone and if get killed or kill them, it wouldn’t matter I'd get to kill someone.

But it didn’t happen, Peggy just never showed at school again and when I went to g see her, her mom told me she had left to live some time with her dad back in London. I was actually relieved, my life went on and I found an actual way to drown out the horrible needs that plagued my mind.

Art; I started to draw, paint, sculpt. The burning need I had to destroy was oddly calmed with a passion for creating. And I discovered I had a true talent for it. And so did people around me and they praised me and that also helped sooth the twisted soul that clawed my insides. And I had things people could see and love and praise soft paintings and sketching of people in my life, like my mother and of the few people I could tolerate enough say they were my friends.

Then there were the sketchbooks that I only worked on in my room, enveloped by its silence and night. Those sketchbooks plastered page after page of my depraved desires, I'd draw them in ink harsh bold lines filled with girls and boys that I liked, in depraved states of hurt and tortured all by my hands or with people I couldn’t stand because they were scum.

 And it gave me satisfaction for so long. Kept me from hurting anyone I dated throughout college.

And my life went on fine like my art giving me the release I needed, and working at a comic book place helped even more I worked on gory gruesome things and made a living off of it, even some of my depraved fantasies got punished of sweet girls and boys getting raped and killed by serial killers all for the sake of the plot of these stories, giving the hero someone to punish.

That also kept me grounded, the fact that I drew out these things but the killer, the depraved mind never got away with it never found actual joy in what he did. Well, it was written like that. And I chose to accept and suppress like always. Suppress the killer. Just let him bleed out little by little on my blank sheets of paper.

Life wasn’t good but it was livable, satisfying enough that it wasn’t hard to smile and hard to fake being in love with random people that stumbled into my life. None ever stayed too long they all knew what I was somehow; maybe it was my lifeless way of making love to them, or maybe they felt the hollowness of my words when I spoke to them. But who cares they all came and left and I was ok with that, in fact, it was perfect, there was only so much I could tolerate of having to be intimate with someone before the itch at the tip of my fingers started to drive me to dark places.  

 

 

My last breakup was the one that put tony in my path. This girl Sharon something had just dumped me after I snapped at her for catching her snooping around my room. She had been one of the few that was determined to make it work with me and she had stuck with me for almost a year and god I felt like I could really snap and kill her in her sleep if she didn’t stop snoring; anyway, she called me a freak and said that there had to be something seriously wrong with her for thinking that she could make things work with me and left. Not another word, and I couldn’t say she was wrong.

My roommate and I guess would have to call him my best friend heard the fight and though I must have been heartbroken and dragged me out to one of his stupid clubs to dance and drink. I didn’t do either, they made me want to give in to my needs. Dancing was far too intimate that created this intoxicating push and pull of power and dominance that would lead to fucking, but it made me feel like a predator so I avoided it; and drinking well I think that brings out everyone’s filthy wants; so I avoided it, plus I was never too fond of the taste.

But that night I let him drag me and I lost him to a couple in record time; buy wasn’t gay or bisexual. But didn’t mind sharing a bed with another man if a woman like that redhead was going to be in the middle. And stocky sandy blond hair man that was her partner wasn’t hard on the eyes either.

 So I drifted away from them to lean against the bar nursing glass of scotch, watching the people dance and sweat and grind on each other like the animals in heat that they were. And then I spotted him.

Geez, he was perfect. Remembering the first time I set my eyes on him can make my heart race; he was dancing with some guy who was a shadow to him, the way his body moved against the guy was sinful. He was wearing simple dark low cut jeans that were skin tight against his lean legs a black shit that was just tight enough and s a pair of raggedy black boots. The way he moved could even give the straightest guy there a boner. And god I was feeling said boner trapped in my tight jeans wishing I could grab fistfuls of that perfectly tussled brown hair and ram my cock into that tender little mouth. My eyes never left him while he danced and he noticed. Oh, he was a wolf in a sheep’s clothing that much I was sure off when he pressed his back against the other man’s chest grinding that taut ass against the guy fingers laced against the guys hair and the slightest lustful smirk on his lips brown eyes fixed on me.

And I felt it hear creep up the back of my neck to my ears and down my cheeks. I was blushing but not once broke eye contact with him I watched him grind and rub against that guy and I loved every minute of it because he was only doing it to entice me. He just wanted me to go claim him in the middle of the dance floor and I wanted to so badly but I wasn’t going to play into his hand.

So after the song ended he broke free from the idiot promising him another dance after he went for a drink; well that’s what I read from the body language of both of them. The idiot smacked him on the ass and it made me want to break his hand, why? because the whole dance Tony had been in control the whole dance everything moving as far as he would let it and only for my viewing pleasure.

But I lost the urge to break him when I found Tony standing right enough of me, big brown eyes smudged in black from his eyeliner fixed on me, those lips never dropping his that enticing smirk. I felt the blush that had gone away long ago flood my face again prickling hot but smiled wide confident and he licked his lips.

Everything went unspoken but I could see it in those sweet brown eyes the emptiness that plagued me tormented him too. And he read it in my eyes too. It was faith putting to twisted, ragged egged, broken souls in each other’s paths to feeling whole for once in life.

He plucked my glass out of my hand and shot back the fire tasting liquid in one swallow and dropped a gave it back to me. And oh it took every ounce of me to take him and make him mine, and I snapped out of it when I caught on to that wicked smile that was on his face like if he’d just hit the jackpot. Then he leaned in real close standing on his toes and whispered in my ear

“You’re welcome to watch the main act” and that husky voice traveled down my spine right to my dick and I groaned and he chuckled, the musk of his sweaty body making my mouth water, and I heard the very soft clink of something hitting the bottom of my glass.

He dropped a key from a cheap motel near the club and pulled away and was headed back to his dance partner leaving with a stiff dick and a for the first time actually breathless for him. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve gives tells the story of how he fell in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i wanna keep the story in steves POV. it gets pretty dark so idk proceed at your own risk.

I think for the first time in my life I actually was dying to run out and follow someone home. I couldn’t explain it, my skin was vibrating with excitement.

 

But I didn’t let it show. I stood there watching him walk back to the dance floor, his hips swaying to and fro perfectly. he was perfect, the way his ass swayed with his walk was enough  to drive me crazy.

 

Tony made his way across the busy dance floor and returned to his partner. The guy wrapped his greedy hands around Tony’s waist pulled him closer and started to rut against him like a the filthy inebriated animal he was.

 

He kept his eyes locked on me while he did. his hands and mouth running along that sweet dark skin. I guess he saw me as a threat and was establishing some sort of dominance, rather than showing off that beautiful man he had in his arms. Pathetic. I could feel the glass in my hand creaking from the pressure I was putting on it.

 

Tony pushed himself on his toes and whispered something against the man's ear and then smiled at me -it was a bit shyer than what I expected, from someone who moved so shamelessly as he danced- whatever he told the olf seemed to calm him down, since a few seconds later he grinned wide and lifted his beer in what I assume was gesture of peace. I did the same with my glass.

 

After a few more minutes of watching them dance, Tony mouthed to me that I should get going so I nodded and headed to find my roommate, bucky.

 

when I found him I felt the tip of my ears burn a hot pink. He already had a good buzz on, I could tell from how relaxed he was, he was sitting in the middle of a soft booth his thick arms wrapped around the couple who had enticed him as soon as we had walked into the club. the girl was tucked into his right and guy into his left. Bucky had his head tipped back as the couple was busy kissing and sucking along my friend's neck.

 

I cleared my throat to get his attention, but all I got was a glare from the red head. “This is private party” she hummed going back to a particularly red spot in Bucky’s neck.

 

“I wasn’t looking for an invitation. I just want the car keys Bucky”

 

“You're not going anywhere until you find someone to fuck” he slurred out, he was probably drunker off the couple than the amount of alcohol he’s had, since the table only had a few shot glasses and a half finished the fruity drink.

 

“I did, and I need the car” I dangled the key off my index finger and flashed him a smile

 

“mmm, Nat, be a doll and fish out the car keys from my pocket” before practically tongue fucking her.

 

I saw her hand slide from his chest down to his pants and Bucky’s hips rolled softly and let out a throaty moan “Those aren't my keys”

 

“No, it's something much better” she grind and her other hand tilted his chin towards the blond man and he began to kiss him with the same intensity he had the girl.

 

“clint, how about you frech the keys?” the say a bit breathless.

 

“Yes someone get me the fucking keys before I drag him away from your little succubus nest” I bit out.

 

Clint did, got the keys and tossed them to me with a toothy grin before getting back to work.

___

 

After I googled the cheap motel and saw it was close to the club. I stopped by a liquor store bought a small bottle of cheap whisky and a six pack that wasn’t much better quality.

 

Once I got to the motel room his took off my jacket hanging it on the back of the chair and took a seat.

 

I was about halfway through the bottle of whisky -and I know I just said I wasn’t a drinker, but hey I wasn’t one for a random fuck either- when they stumbled into the room, the guy still pawing and grabbing tony desperately.

 

I could see in tony’s body language that he wasn’t really enjoying the way the idiot was pawing and slobbering on him. I kept myself in the chair watching from the dark, but my breathing went deeper and rougher, almost growling.

 

Tony let his head loll back looking at me upside down with a smile on his face “You did com,  handsome” he let out a thick husky voice laced with promises.

 

My response wasn’t more than a grunt and his smiled beamed with the moonlight. breathtaking.

 

he wiggled his way out of the guys grip and pushed him onto the bed, he, in turn, started to strip quickly until he was bare on the bed. he had a fine body, now that I look back on that night, well toned and very muscular, almost as much as me. not my type of man but I could see why Tony had picked him out.

 

tony made quick with the sheets ripping them apart and tied up the guys wrist and ankles very skillfully. his nimble fingers were gorgeous tying him up to his liking, he also seemed to enjoy the process since he went from half hard to fully during it.

 

After he made sure, johnny, as he called him during a few kisses, was properly tied up. he began to strip for me.

 

I knew it was for me. the way he took off his tight shirt and kicked off his boots. the way his eyes looked on me the whole time. it was breathtaking, his skin was a beautiful olive tone that looked silky perfect under the moonlight. his hair was wild curling over his forehead and around his neck. but the what I enjoyed the most were those eyes, perfectly framed by his thick eyelashes, the deep rich brown color stirred something primal in me. It was because I recognized the same struggle in them.

 

Once he had freed himself of all his clothes  he began to open himself up over Johnny. one finger at a time and he loved teasing me, giving me glimpses of his stuffed hole.

 

when he finished up he slid himself down the cock. and started to ride it, using it for his own pleasure. and I say it because johnny boy could have been easily replaced by a fucking dildo and tony would have still made the same show. he would she have looked just as graceful fucking himself on one. Jesus, the man was a sin with every little moan that escaped him .

 

I sat there on the chair, in the shadows just watching enjoying the show. and when the guy underneath started begging for more and moaning to loud for my taste, tony picked it up real quick and stuffed a spare piece of cloth into his mouth muffling him up.

 

after a while I couldn’t take it anymore and pulled my cock out of my pants and started stroking myself at the speed tony was riding the guy, and a wicked smile spread across his face.

 

after what felt forever of watching tony ride the guy, and stroking myself, eyes locked together as we synced up.

 

that wicked smile turned into something coy as his hands slipped from johnny’s chest, where they were anchoring him, down around his neck. his fingers curling around the guys neck making him moan.

 

Tony licked his lips and mouthed to me “come help me”

 

And I was up out of that chair before he finished telling me to go to him

 

I stripped all my clothes off making my way to them. I straddled the guys legs from behind my tony and I couldn’t help run my fingers along his stuffed little hole making him moan the most sincere moan he had let out so far. I kissed and nipped at his shoulders and neck, he tasted so sweet -and always tasted even sweeter every time after- my touch and kisses made him rutt and roll his hips in tight circles.

 

“Let me fuck you beautiful” I whispered against the shell of his ear, where the trail of kisses I placed on him took me. “you're too perfect for someone like him. I can make you feel so much better”

 

And tony went pliant for me, and it was so surprising that he did. he had been so dominant with his toy, but for me Tony was already shaking and moaning and I hadn't even started. But if I’m honest with you. it's because the guy was a piece of trash compared to tony with his big eyes and sweet mouth. he didn’t know what he was in too. He couldn't handle the force of nature I saw in his eyes. completely unstoppable. only someone like me could.

 

Tony lifted his ass up off the guys cock and let me sink into him bare unlike the condom he had rolled on the play thing. he squeezes the guys neck making him freak out a bit. he started to come out of his headspace, feeling my extra weight on him and maybe the too tight grip that tony now had on his neck.

 

“help me” he moaned out in a low voice his head lolled back against my shoulder as I started to fuck into him rough and hard. My hands slipped away from his perfect hips and slid down his arms and encased his smaller hands around the guy's neck and started squeezing his throat.

 

Johnny, bless his soul, started to thrash and buckle under us but we only squeezed harder as I fucked Tony faster and harder than I had ever fucked anyone in my life.

 

He was so fucking delicious inside, so tight and hot and his muscles squeezed me around perfectly making me gasp and moan as I hit him in the deepest parts. places I know no one has ever touches from the hiccuped sobs and moans that came out if him.

 

and in all of this, we had a perfect vision of Johnny turning all shades of red as we choked the life out of him. Tony came the moment the tied up man’s eyes went dull, his hot cum splattered across his chest and tony moaned a throaty moan that was so beautiful that I swore to myself that I'd makes him moan like that again and again for the rest of our lives.

 

I fucked faster and harder than before until I spent myself inside him, my cock pulsing as it split, my forehead pressed between his shoulder blades.

 

Once I was done tony rolled off the guy leaving me soft and dirty over a guy's dead body, my cum sliding down his thighs. he flashed me a soft smile and easily undid the holds on the guy and I shoved him off the bed before taking tony in my arms and fucking him again and again and again until we both passed out.

When I woke up he was gone, the body was gone and all I had was a now cold cup of coffee sitting on the nightstand with his name and number scribbled on it followed by the loopy letters that spelled “call me” with a sloppy heart drawn next to it.

 

needless to say…

  
I was in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys think. if you like it, if you don't. should i keep going or scrap it. 
> 
> Also ... I have "A Fresh Start" fic on here and i have the biggest writers block in the history of writers block. im trying to do get a new chapter out but i just don't know where do go. if you guys have any ideas drop me a line yeah? let me know  
> you guys can message me here.

**Author's Note:**

> Is this a good plot line? do you guys wanna read more? let me know.


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